Family is everything. Pure and Simple.

That little face above is one of the most precious ones I've ever seen. Even though this little girl is not mine 'biologically', I still love her to pieces. And I always will. Dealing with a step child, especially at the age of 18 is difficult on many levels, but YES I believe it is possible to accept, and love a step child like one of your own children. But it does not always come automatically. How was I going to be a mother to this little being?? Was it gonna be worth all the drama and fighting?? Should I get tangled up in this huge pile of crap?? I had found the person I wanted to be with, even though his history seemed well, shaky. A failed relationship and a daughter. I wasn't sure if I could handle it... but I was struck by cupid, and had to take that chance. 

The relationship between mother and father was a wicked one in the beginning. Lies, deceit,  false accusations. Custody battles, child support, the whole shebang. These days however, are much much better due to moi. Haha checkpoint! I knew I was going to be in their lives, but I didn't want the birth mother to think I was trying to take her place as 'mom' and steal her child away. Stupid girl, why would you get yourself into this?? Simple, I was falling more and more in love with these 2 people every day.

But it wasn't an automatic thing. I didn't feel that special heart tugging bond that you would have with your own babies. I would look at pictures of my friends with their kids and get so sad and depressed, because I knew I wasn't ever going to feel that way about Ally. Please, do not get me wrong, I do love that baby to death. She brings so much sunshine and happiness to mine and Aarons life. Nevertheless it is hard. Things are getting better and I am slowly starting to break down my emotional wall against her. After all, she is my step daughter. "The best predictors for stepfamily development are a strong couples' relationship and a positive stepparent-stepchild relationship. An attempt to force love will likely only lead to resentment and a negative relationship with your stepchild, as well as spousal discord."

 

 

One day at a time I always say. 

 The Value of Stepparents

 Did you ever stop to notice that God himself sent his only son to be raised by his stepfather, Joseph?  Yes, in that sense, Jesus was a stepchild.  We can rest assured that God picked him (meaning Joseph) for a reason.
The challenges of stepparenting are very real, however the importance of your role in the life of your stepchild is vital.  You may never realize how important you are.

♥

Bitche's ain't nothin' but hoes and trix. ♥ FMLife

Oh, here we go. When someone starts trying to hurt your man, your baby girl and yourself all at the same time, it really does bring out a woman you never even knew existed. This has been a really bad week from day one, and it's only Tuesday. First, I get fired from my job after 3 weeks because I had other plans for the day, not knowing I had to be at work. FMLife #1. Then Ally's birth mom starts running her mouth a thousand miles per hour, and digs herself into a hole she will NEVER EVER get out of, FMLife #2. I have always had very little faith in myself, and now I am on my way to having none. Choosing to hide away and not deal with problems is usually a bad choice. But in some cases hiding away could be the solution to the problem. I'm still not sure as to whether or not this is a bad choice. I feel extremely worthless, lazy, and every other bad feeling in the book of 'bad feelings.'  FMLife#3.

I really need some help from someone way more powerful than myself. Is that too much to ask for?

Soundtrack for the day: 'Moment 4 Life'

My anthem.

"You have not lived MY life. Suffered MY pain. Enjoyed MY happiness. Seen what I've seen or walked my path. So don't you dare judge me."

The Royal Wedding

They seem so in love, it makes me smile.

:)

Fresh Start

Thanks to a wonderful friend of mine who is wise beyond her years, yes ALEX S. I'm talking about you babe! I have decided to start blogging. I'm not really sure what the whole point of this is but in some ways it seems very therapeutic. It seems hard to talk about things out loud, but so so easy to write them down. God only knows what I am going to say, especially with all the crazy stuff going on in my head that I can't make any sense of, but I figure if I write it down, maybe one day someone will actually be able to make sense of it.

"You know what I think? I think there's a reason for everything. 

And I think that there's a plan for everyone. 

And I think that God has a big plan for me."

XOXO